Now, again I must face another challenge that will test my understanding, patience and courage. Another friend is pregnant with her first child after only months of marriage. Gladness and wishful thoughts for her and her family is what I felt and think. But then again Yes I admit I'am envious again. For the nth time I have to face another heart ache, learn to comprehend my own situatation, widen my patience and strengthen my courage to withstand negative thoughts and questions over my head. Sometimes I wish I won't know if the people I knew are pregnant not because I don't want to share their happiness its just that maybe it would spare me the pain and questions why am I not? I wanted to cry now but I am at work seems like tomorrow before I sleep that's if I could sleep, I know I will cry my heart out. I Will be trying to obliterate questioning HIS will and ways and just focus on praying and hoping . But for now can I just pour my heart out?! Can somebody tell me whatelse should I do?! Feels like I am losing every inch of hope in me. Is the road ahead close for me?!
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